Blurry Birthday

Last week was my birthday. Another year older. Birthday doesn’t really seem such a big deal for me anymore, I just would like to spend a great time with close friends and drink heavily. Last week I got wasted with my friends. We started to drink at noon and by the afternoon, I was laughing hysterically for no reason. I also still remember things hat happened. That same day, my professor was performing at a bar/restaurant in the city so I trekked over there alone. Some guy offered me free drinks and of course I took them. Then I remember him becoming really touchy with me to the point my professor got a bit worried and introduced himself to him as MY Professor. The guy didn’t really stop touching me so I got really upset and basically told him

“Excuse me, Im sorry but I don’t feel comfortable with you touching me, please stop. Just because you bought me drinks does not mean you can touch me. If you think other wise then I wish you would leave me alone. I can buy my own drinks.” (I remember because I was super pissed)

He got surprised, he stood up and left. The bartender heard and gave me a shot on the house  and gave me kudos for standing up for myself. Then I told her it was my birthday and she was super nice and understood why I told him to fuck off.

Anyways, the music was amazing, my professor was amazing, I was really enjoying myself being alone at the bar listening to this music!

When it was done, my professor came over and I bought him a shot of tequila and we did very small talk about how I met him when I was a freshman and now I was about to graduate. It was crazy how time flew! The bartender then brings out a piece of cake with a candle and sung happy birthday for me and gave my professor and me another shot on the house. By this point I don’t really remember much… I remember my professor asking me if I was ok going home and I think I shook my head. He told me he would walk me to the train. So I lingered around waiting for my professor and his musician friend to get their instruments ready.

I vaguely remember walking up some stairs to the street and wobbling down the street trying not to fall. Got to the train and his musician friend offered to take me home since he lives around the same path I go so I accepted. I said goodbye to my professor and I skipped down the stairs of the train and I slipped and fell on my butt… OUCH

The musician friend was super nice and he took me to the train I needed to take even though he had to go the opposite way. I thanked him a bunch and went into my train. I don’t remember how I got home after that.

The next morning I woke up to a message saying “Hope you got home well. Thanks for coming out and tell “D” to take care of you more”

Now I feel super unprofessional and super embarrassed.

All I know that I have celebrated my birthday with my family and friends but the one person I wish to have a great time with has not even asked me out yet… I don’t think he cares anymore unlike previous years.

How can someone just shut down like that after everything we felt and gone through??

 

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