Streets of NYC

I walk around and i feel myself filling up with tears. I try to swallow the lump in my throat but it wont budge. Then i find myself huddled in a park crying silently and trying to calm myself down. People give me stares but little do they know i am crying because i still love him and i miss him so much.

I dont know what to do anymore but cry. My heart searches for him and my body aches for him.

He is the love of my life…

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Truth

“It wasn’t fair. There should not be such a person like you in existence, because the memories of you burst like a hurricane, spreading through my body remembering each moment, each trace of you came like a photograph, and that’s when I knew it was unfair, because I was the one to experiencing it.”

Self hate

I wish I could be a man. A handsome man or a man with money, that way i could buy anything and anyone I wanted. No I’m a girl, a girl who can not sleep with just anyone. I cant do a one night stand and not cry about it. When i was 19 maybe i could have and thats why i went to be a sugar baby, but I’m 22 and i hate the idea of sleeping or hooking up with a man. I know i will cry and i know i will want to kill myself after. I just dont know what to do.

Then, i still love D, i love him with all my heart. He doesn’t want me. He says to get over someone is to fuck people and get your mind of that person, thats what he did with me…

I know if i just hookup with someone, i will hate myself and cry myself in a puddle of tears. I really just dont know what to do anymore… Maybe ill just end everything very sudden no one will fucking care anyways.

Extraordinary Lengths…

tumblr_lkoirgARzW1qfjv55o1_500_large1 tumblr_lx6tofhGb31r0cl5wo1_500As I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling of my room, I always remember this was the exact same thing I was doing when my phone went off signaling a message. It was startling to me because this was right after Super Storm Sandy that hit New York and left many without electricity and the train were not running at all do to flooding. Since the trains were not functioning I was trapped in my house.

I checked my phone and it was a message from him!

Him: Hey baby! Wake up!

Me: Hey baby! Are you Ok? I lost contacted with you last night and I was worried

Him: Yes baby Im ok, staying at a hotel. People are going crazy and hotels are all booked. Insane.

Me:Im sorry to hear that but at least you are ok!

Him: I miss you!

Me: I miss you too! Wish you were here beside me in bed!

A while went by and I was thinking what would I do in his situation. Then he messaged me again.

Him: Baby I miss you so much. I would do anything to have you right now.

Me: aww baby me too. The trains are not running though. We’ll have to wait…

1 minute passes by

Him: Baby I can’t wait! What’s your address!?

Me: What!? What do you mean!?

Him: I don’t care the trains are not running, Im going to take a cab and going see you RIGHT NOW! Give me your address!

I stood silent…

Filé_Of_Yellow_CabI was shocked that a man that was stuck in Manhattan would do anything to see me because he couldn’t wait. The urgency of his text portrayed his need to see me.

Him: Hello? Baby? Address. I just pulled over a cab!

Me: *gives address* Baby you don’t have too baby, it’ll cost you a fortune and it will take a very LONG time considering traffic, baby…

Him: Fuck, the cab driver just told me it will take 1 hour and a half to get out of Manhattan and then who know how long back. I’m sorry. I really need you. I really miss you

Me: Baby its ok! We can talk on the phone. I love you!

Him: I love you too! I wish I were lying next to you in bed.

That was the first time in my life that a man was putting everything on the line to see me. To be with me after a terrible incident that caused half of NYC to shut down. It as the first time that I knew that he was someone special, someone who I knew I had fallen for deeply in love.

I will always remember that day.

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Love with Him…

       tumblr_m7bszmLejC1qldcmro1_250“I love you” I said

“I do too…” he said as he kissed me.

Anyone who asked me who I love the most, I was say him.

I would clear everything after classes just to be with him. I would walk in snow, rain and wind just to be with him and walk through streams of rainwater to catch him on Facebook to chat with him while I was away.

Seasons-of-loveI still love him so much. Looking into his eyes I see a pool of love and a world of relaxation of comfortableness. Whenever I see him in the streets walking toward me, I want to drown myself in his arms and devour his lips and show everyone how much I love him. Just like in those romantic movies where they love each other so much. I still remember how in the winter, walking the streets of NYC, we used to hold each other to keep warm but also just to be close to each other. We would sneak kisses in the street at night and he would cradle me under his arm to protect me. In the summer, we would take love walks at night feeling the cool breeze as he put his arm around me. He would tell me how pretty I looked even when I knew I didn’t. He would look at me deep in the eyes and tell me he loved me. I would kiss him and everything around us disappeared and he was the only one in the world, my world.

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When we are alone, the light shows his arm muscles that I love. I perk up to him and lick his lips and tease his tongue with mine as I wrap my arms around his neck. I kiss his cheek and his neck going down to nibble his arm muscles as I grab his hard erection. Kissing him is a delight and a pleasure that I only wish it never ended. Stroking his erection slightly with my soft hands, I hear him moan as our tongues delight each other. Being on top of him, I attacked his mouth with deep passionate kisses that left both of us gasping for air but to just go back to the passionate kiss. He would lay me down on the bed as he enters me so softly and we both let out a moan to feel each other intertwine.

tumblr_na055iRkxC1tzap87o1_500“You feel so good” he says as he buries his head on my neck and thrust into me softly

 His love is evident with every push and every kiss he give me. I wrap my legs around his waist to bring his closer as he wraps his arms around me. Sex with him is not just sex, it’s the expression of our love that we have for each other and it is impossible to deny. It is incredible how our bodies fit together as if we were meant for each other. Our bodies molds into one as we make love and as we kiss. He likes to flip me on my tummy and grabs my butt as he enters me.

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“You have the most amazing ass” he said as he enter me with his delicious erection

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He leans on me, holds my hands in his and hugs me tight as he speeds up, never letting my hands go. As he is about to cum I turn my head around and he catches my lips as releases his love inside me. He collapses on top of me, as I lick him softly, as he recovers from his ecstasy. I give him tiny pecks on his cheek and bring him back to earth. He looks at me and smiles down at me. We kiss and hold each other.tumblr_n9d9zlXgRR1tsncpgo1_500

I tell him how much I love him.

He looks into my eyes and smiles.

“I love you too” he whispers in my ear

I look up at him and smile

Our legs tangle with each other and I rest my head on his chest as we both drift into sleep.

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