I sit in the corner of the room listening to the conversations of my friends and listen to their laughter. I look at them and see happiness and freedom in each of them. The more that I look and stay in that room, the more I get uncomfortable. Yes they are my friends but I feel unwelcome.
Its a feeling of wanting to be alone but at the same time don’t wanting to be lonely.
I wish I was alone with that one person that mattered the world to me. Everything felt right and everything felt great, At least for the time we were together.
I now feel the itch to have a strong drink until I wake up in the middle of the night running to the bathroom to puke my everything and sink into my depression even deeper.
I am not happy. I am not well. I am scared.