Make-up is beauty…

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Why am I obsessed with make-up?

Good question. I was never a girly girl till I met Davey. Well, even with him I still felt I came up short compared to every other girl he had met and who I knew as the “girly girls”. He even asks who are my pretty friends and I feel as tiny as an ant because I know deep inside that I am nothing compared to them and that’s why he is asking.

I never have been very interested in my appearance until recently, when I noticed everything around me. I’m an average girl with an average look, unlike many of my friends from high school like Paulina and Veronica, who loves to wear make-up and who love to dress all elegant and sophisticated even to class. I am known as the girl that was always surrounded by these types of girls because these girls want me to be like them. Even now in college, my best friends wear amazing clothing, perfect make-up and are beautiful in every way. I am just there…

I remember back in high school, in chemistry class, I used to be picked on by the black bitches that didn’t even know how to scratch their ass because I used to make them feel stupid and I was also picked on by the professor. I used to wear washed out jeans, ripped up converse and band t-shirt like ‘Blondie’ and ‘The Ramones’. I also always wear my hair down, which I get many compliments since its mink-like hair, but it’s always down and in my face. I used to sit next to Veronica and she was my class partner for chemistry, I used to help her in class but the teacher would embarrass me because I was trying to help my classmate but when Veronica was flirting with some guys while middle of the class, the teacher wouldn’t say anything. The teacher preferred her even though I was the top student in his class, and she would always get away with everything. I was always jealous of her even though she was one of my best friends.

Now, I understand how things work and I really try my best to look decent but I know it isn’t me. Though I do admit that I love make-up because of the colors and it makes me look better, and of course going into a Sephora or a MAC store in NYC is very exciting, I wish I wouldn’t have to wear it in order to feel worthy of competing. I realized, that even with Davey, I wanted to look great for him because I didn’t want him to replace me or get bored of me or be ashamed of me. I was his girl and I wanted him to be proud of me, to “show me off” in a way. In another hand, I know the person I am and how I look and I am pretty sure I do not come close to what ever he is used to. He compliments my eyes a lot, actually a lot of people do and that is why if you go to my make-up, you’ll find A LOT of eye make-up and only 1 foundation, because I want him to see at least the bit of “beauty” I have. I know I am not gorgeous, I know I don’t have great lips, tits, or have a banging body… I know I am plain Jane…

Everyday I wake up and try to look great for him… at least… I try…

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2 responses to “Make-up is beauty…

  1. I think that even if you think you are avarage, there are some particular things that others find really beautiful in you. Like your eyes! I’m sure you’re beautiful without any make-up and make-up only stresses the most beautiful parts that you have.
    By the way, that professor must be a real asshole.

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